Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious at a game? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about the gym.
I was at a Phillies playoff game sitting in the upper deck. All of a sudden this dude frickin screams "You used to play for Washington!" for no apparent reason and sparks an argument. In the end, we learned no one had played for Washington and the guy was drunk.
My younger brother, Jon, played high school baseball. His junior year the school's stadium got redone and got some real seating and a nice press box with an all-new PA system. My parents made me go to the first home game of the season to support my brother.
Unfortunately, the school had students run the PA and they clearly weren't trained very well on it. My brother was the starting pitcher and after they announced him on the mound, there were some muffled noises over the PA. The kids in the booth had left the button down or something. Then there were more noises like mumbled talking and ruffling papers. And then you can here them talking very clearly: "Do you think it's true that Jon f—ked Brittany?"
The coach jumped off the bench and ran up to the press box to shut off the PA. My mom didn't seem to hear it, but I'm sure she did — it was clear and it was loud — and to this day is just trying to convince herself it didn't happen.
I was at a baseball game in seats in the outfield. One of the players hit a home run and this drunk guy tried to catch it. His depth perception was way off, and when he dove out to try and catch it he was about 8 rows off and not only did he miss it, but he landed on the laps of 4 women, crushing their beers and food and making a huge mess. Needless to say they were furious and left the game. Absolutely hysterical.
About a year ago I was enjoying a Major League Lacrosse game when I felt the need to pass gas. I was outdoors and I figured what's the harm? It won't bother anyone. I underestimated what was brewing in the kitchen however and sure enough the 5 year-old in front of me looks up to his dad, scrunches his nose and asks: "Dad. what's that smell?" The father replies with: "I don't know son but I think somebody just pooped their pants." Well, turns out he was only half right.
I went to a Royals game last year and I had to use the bathroom. So I'm standing at a urinal going and this totally drunk guy staggers up to use the one beside me. (I should note there were plenty of open urinals. It wasn't a highly attended game.) He struggled getting his pants undone and almost fell over. Then he just stood there for 5 or 10 seconds not doing anything. I don't think any urine was coming out. As I'm buckling up my pants to go over to wash my hands, he rips this huge, wet fart and goes: "Whoops. I'm at the wrong kind of toilet," and staggers over to one of stalls with the front of his pants still open. Good guy.
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Send your "Overheard At The Game" or "Overheard At The Gym" stories to OverheardSP at gmail.