HomeAway.com: "Test Baby"
Message: Instead of staying in a cramped hotel room that will result in your baby's face getting smashed, rent someone's house and stay there when you're traveling. Sure, your baby may get poisoned when he gets into the unlocked cabinet with the household chemicals, but ruined insides aren't nearly as humiliating as facial injuries.
Relationship To Football: None. But a year after Tim Tebow's anti-abortion ad, it seems the NFL wanted to make the point that life begins at inception, but can easily end soon after birth.
Pepsi Max: "First Date"
Message: Pepsi Max tastes good enough to make you want to drink it over having sex with a marginally attractive girl. Not that the marginally attractive girl was going to sleep with that guy anyway. Because he's completely unattractive. But more because he took her out on a date to a restaurant that serves soda in cans. Classy!
Relationship To Football: Based on the guy's limited internal dialogue, he has likely suffered numerous concussions.
Chevy Cruze: "Update"
Message: The new Chevy Cruze is social media-enabled, so from inside your car you can hear your date post on Facebook: "Best first date ever." And then quickly followed by: "Too bad he drives a crap Chevy Cruze."
Relationship To Football: Pretty much the only thing more dangerous than playing football is walking on a sidewalk while a nearby driver is checking Facebook.
Chevy Cruze: "Misunderstanding"
Message: Old people are dumb. And deaf. And old. They'll probably all be dead soon. But at least if you have to go to their funeral and it's far away, a Chevy Cruze won't make you use a lot of gas.
Relationship To Football: Most ex-NFL players look like those oldsters by the time they're 45.
Motorola Xoom: "Empower The People"
Message: In our sad, Orwellian future, the only thing that will be able to spark hipster love is new technology. Of course, ironic, hipster love is Orwellian in its own way, and they'll soon fall out of love when they get in a big fight over which one "discovered" the Xoom first. And who cares anyway because the Xoom is so dated now. I mean, they were in a Super Bowl ad. Sell outs.
Relationship To Football: I wonder if you can play Madden on those things.