Dunk Champion Wows Judges By Dunking His Own Kidney

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Los Angeles Clippers rookie Blake Griffin brought some creativity and originality back to the NBA Slam Dunk Contest by being the first player in the contest's history to slam one of his own organs through the rim.

Griffin's kidney was removed in a dramatic pre-dunk scene in which TNT host Kenny Smith cut the organ out of Griffin's side while a choir dressed as zombies moaned in the background. Then, with his left side still open with blood and entrails pouring out, Griffin took his kidney from Smith, held it above his head to the delight of the roaring crowd, and then took two steps and dunked the organ, smashing it to the floor below.

The judges gave it perfect 10s, except for Julius Irving, who scored it a 9.

Griffin, who struggled to speak after the event due to the massive blood loss from the crude procedure, said — while being loaded into an ambulance to be rushed to the hospital — that he didn't want to disappoint the home fans at the Staples Center.

"I was the dunk contest favorite and I wanted to do anything to win it," he said. "Clippers fans and this franchise have seen so much disappointment and heartache. I wanted to give them something to smile about," he added, trailing off before flat-lining.

Griffin was later revived at the hospital, but is expected to miss the remainder of the season and doctors doubt he will ever be the player he was before with only one kidney.

His kidney slam was enough to edge Washington's JaVale McGee, who had dunked on two baskets at once before Griffin's show-stopper.

"It was all about the order of things," said McGee. "Griffin's last dunk was before my last dunk and when I saw him do the kidney thing I knew I couldn't do my planned dunk, which was dunking my still-beating heart right before dying. The judges wouldn't think it was original anymore. I was pretty disappointed."

Due to the excitement generated by this year's event, the NBA announced that for next year's event, all local and national laws will be suspended for the dunk contest.

"Shooting people, sword play, pre-dunk orgies, murder … it's all on the table next year," said commissioner David Stern. "We're ready to raise the creative bar again."


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