"The Town" = The Patriots

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TOWN
Movie: Boston
Patriots: Boston

SCRAPPY WHITE PEOPLE
Movie: All of them
Patriots: Pretty much all of them

PAST TAKES FOREVER TAINTED
Movie: Big bank heist ruined by Jem going to jail for years
Patriots: Big cheating ruined years of titles

GIRL HAIR
Movie: Blake Lively and Rebecca Hall
Patriots: Tom Brady and Julian Edelman

COCKY ADVERSARY
Movie: Jon Hamm
Patriots: Rex Ryan

PLANNED LAST SCORE
Movie: Robbing Fenway Park
Patriots: Really any scoring in the playoffs would be nice, even a few field goals

STAR TURNED INTO A GUTLESS PUSSY BY A GIRL HE MET
Movie: Ben Affleck
Patriots: Tom Brady

LONGTIME EVIL MASTERMIND WHO DIES AT THE END
Movie: The old guy at the flower shop
Patriots: Bill Belichick's reputation

FINAL SCENE
Movie: Affleck's girlfriend covers for him so he can live in freedom in Florida
Patriots: Brady's ex-girlfriend watches his kid so he's free to spend the offseason banging a supermodel in Monaco

THINGS PUT IN STAR'S 'REAR VIEW'
Movie: This whole town
Patriots: This whole postseason


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