The Gym: Issue #3

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious at the gym? Send your submissions to OverheardSP at gmail. Or submit for future editions about games, tailgates and sports bars.

A guy I work with goes to the same gym as I do. I don't know him real well but he is older than me and is married. I know this because I met his wife at a company outing. He also wears a wedding ring. But only at work not at the gym.

A few times he's made the point of telling me it's because the weights scratch his ring. Fine by me. I don't care. I'm not the marriage patrol and I don't care about his jewelry care.

But then I saw him in the gym parking lot making out with some lady who also goes to the gym. Who is not his wife. I guess he didn't want to get sweaty skanky on his wedding ring either. What a guy.

— Dave

I work at a gym in Indiana. There are several wanna-be guidos who work out at the gym. One day while I'm working out after work, I hear one guido say to another, "Dude, I'm bringing the Hulkness." I couldn't keep this to myself. "Bringing the Hulkness" is now the unofficial slogan of the workers whenever we have to get pumped for something.

— Neal

Like most gyms, my gym makes everyone carry a towel around with them and wipe off the equipment when they're done. A guy near me was on the leg press machine, calmly finished a set, and wiped off the seat. I noticed then that his white towel now had brown on it. The guy crapped himself pushing the leg press.

He tossed his towel in the hamper and left and I debated telling the gym staff about the machine but decided not to because it was just so gross I couldn't talk about it. But I've never used that leg press machine since then.

— Becky

I workout 4 days a week year round. So i essentially know everyone at the gym or at least have seen them before. I'm that skinny kid who lifts way more than i look like i can do, but what upsets me is seeing the huge jacked fratty guys that can't bench their own weight. One in particular, without fail, comes to the gym everyday at 6'3 230lbs, rocking a hat, headphones, and tank top, and spends the whole hour I'm working out picking out a song on his ipod. He walks up to the dumbbells, checks them out, fiddles with his ipod then walks away. He'll even pin a single plate on various machines so it looks like hes lifting but hes not, i can tell. I bust my ass to stay fit, and this hulking jag-off makes a mockery of the gym. Pretty sure he's on roids.

— Matt

This dude at the gym always benches with his legs up above him off the floor. It puts more focus on your pecs or whatever. That's all good, except he doesn't wear underwear, which everyone knows because when he does this the legs on his mesh shorts slide down and you can see his junk. After this happened a few times, me and my friends decided we had to do something. So we left a note in his locker that said "Everyone can see your dick when you bench." We haven't seen his junk hanging out since. Thanks, underwear.

— Ron