Rex Ryan Very Disappointed to Get Christmas Socks

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New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan expressed great disappointment today over getting socks for Christmas.

"I don't know if this is some kind of cruel f—king joke or what," said Ryan, of the package that was sent to his house. "But everyone who knows me knows I want to see feet. The more feet the better."

The gift of socks, which had a Boston postmark, was balanced out by Ryan's wife giving him a 12-by-6-foot mural of her toes.

"That's the greatest piece of art I've ever seen," said Ryan. "It's beyond art, really. No art could be this amazing. Only feet."

Rex says he plans to have the mural hung above the couple's foot-shaped bed. He used the socks to stoke the fire.

"Socks are great kindling," he said. "Nothing is better for getting wooden shoes burning."

Mrs. Ryan said she was very pleased with the 5-karat diamond toe ring her husband got her for Christmas, as well as the foot lingerie.


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