Rex Ryan Has Some Advice for His Kicker

cca3d6fb74180817d67c99b3a015c527
[[[chat]]]Rex Ryan: Hey, Nick. Good to see you. How you doin'?
Nick Folk: Good, coach. What's up?
Rex Ryan: Well, son, it's my job to always improve this team and I've thought of an idea that can help you.
Nick Folk: Great! Let's hear it.
Rex Ryan: Well, you have a very strong foot, right?
Nick Folk: I guess so. And thanks for the compliment.
Rex Ryan: Sure thing. But how strong is it really? Do you know that I've never seen your foot? And I mean your bare foot. I bet it's very muscular, isn't it? And I bet it's all glistening with sweat, too. Isn't it?
Nick Folk: Sure, I suppose. I mean, as feet go, it's probably more muscular than most.
Rex Ryan: Oh, baby. Nick, can you take your shoes off for me right now? Socks, too.
Nick Folk: Okay.
[He removes his shoes and socks.]
Rex Ryan: Ohmigod. Ohmigod. They're so hot.
Nick Folk: Uh, thanks. But, coach? Umm … I don't know how to say this, but your erection is kind of bothering me.
Rex Ryan: It's an erect penis, son. I'm wearing sweatpants. There's nowhere else for it to go. We're men here, Nick. We're a team of men. If you have a problem with penises, then you don't belong on this team.
Nick Folk: No, no, no. I'm not saying that. Just … never mind.
Rex Ryan: Good then. Okay, so I'm now going to rub my penis along the base of your toes until I achieve orgasm.
Nick Folk: What?! No! What the hell, man? No way! You're a freaking weirdo.
Rex Ryan: I am not a weirdo. This is a personal issue.
Nick Folk: Okay. Just … whatever. I'm going to leave now. What did you call me over here for anyway?
Rex Ryan: I wondered if you had ever considered kicking barefoot.
Nick Folk: I tried that once. I didn't like it.
Rex Ryan: And I also wanted to have sex with your feet.
Nick Folk: Yeah. I know. I'm going to leave now.
Rex Ryan: Okay, can you just call Mark over for me?
Nick Folk: Sure.
[He walks away towards Mark Sanchez.]
Nick Folk: Hey, Mark. Coach wants to see you.
Mark Sanchez: Okay. I'll be right there. Did he say what he wants?
Nick Folk: No.
Mark Sanchez: He probably just wants to have sex with my feet again. I guess I better take my shoes off.
[[[/chat]]]


Advertisement