Mars Surprisingly Named Host of the 2022 World Cup

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FIFA shocked many today by giving the 2022 World Cup to the planet Mars over favorites the United States and Qatar.

"I really thought we had the best bid," said former President Bill Clinton, who led the U.S. final presentation. "And I thought the Qataris did well, too. The World Cup going to a non-world host was a bit of a surprise."

Mars did not even submit a formal bid for the World Cup, but it is believed many of the FIFA voters expect to be rewarded with extra-terrestrial powers and luxury spaceships by delivering the tournament to our solar system neighbor.

FIFA president Sepp Blatter dismissed charges of corruption and said a Mars World Cup is a bold and important decision.

"This will encourage the human race to achieve the technological advances we have long been promised," said Blatter. "I'm 74 years-old. I expected to be spending my golden years riding hover-boards and flying cars. But we don't have any of that. But now, with FIFA's vision, we have 12 years to figure out how to do all that, and get to Mars and play soccer."

Top players have already begun complaining about Mars as the host.

"It's going to be tough to control the ball in zero gravity," said English star Wayne Rooney. "Plus, are Martian women hot? Do they all have three tits like that lady in Total Recall? I'd be cool with that."


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