Cleveland Mayor Announces 1,000 New Jobs with Opening of Anti-Lebron T-Shirt Factory

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Cleveland Mayor Frank G. Jackson held a press conference today to announce that 1,000 new jobs have come to the city with the opening of a new anti-Lebron James t-shirt factory on Cleveland's east side.

"This shows again how resilient the City of Cleveland and its people are," said Jackson. "We took the negative energy and disappointment over Lebron James' departure and made it into something that will provide jobs to the city. It's a remarkable story."

Quitness Industries, the t-shirt manufacturer, will begin hiring immediately for three shifts, including weekends, to try to meet the region's unquenchable desire for anti-Lebron apparel, signs and decals.

"In poor economies like we have today, rage and anger businesses have always done quite well," says Quitness Industries CEO Frank Marshall. "For example, right now gun companies are raking in profits. And during the Great Depression, there were popular stands throughout cities where, for a penny, you could punch a hobo."

While demand for anti-Lebron merchandise is remarkably high now, Marshall is taking a cautious step into the industry by making sure all of his products are unlicensed.

"Oh, yeah," he said. "Even though most of this stuff has a picture of Lebron on it, or a Heat logo, or references to Nike or the NBA, we paid no licensing fees. We brought in a top executive from Chinese shoe company Reebock to help us with our non-licensing."

The new 1,000-employee Quitness Industries will operate out of the old factory headquarters of King James, Inc., a pro-Lebron t-shirt manufacturer, which laid off 5,000 people and was shuttered in July.


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