College Football Fan Gauges Girlfriend’s Interest in a Plus-One System

LSU undergrad Chris House watched the Tigers play Mississippi on Saturday at a stadium tailgate and, in the drunken excitement of the game, gauged her interest in adopting a plus-one system later that night.

"He tried to call it a plus-one system, but I'm not an idiot," said Heather Millen, House's girlfriend. "He wanted to have a threesome with the one girl who showed up who's in his poli sci class. If that's what he wants, then we're going to have some problems."

Millen said she briefly experimented with a plus-one system with a different boyfriend as a freshman, but says she is "through that phase."

"I think the current system works pretty well," she said. "It's not perfect, but no one gets satisfied with the plus-one. I had a plus-one already with an old boyfriend, and I just kind of laid there by herself while they went at it. Two weeks later we broke up."

House said he was hoping for the plus-one because he believes his classmate deserves a shot.

"She is one of those girls who is kind of overlooked because she doesn't wear a lot of make-up or do much to her hair or wear very revealing clothing," said House. "But I can tell that under her loose sweatshirts she has an amazing body — maybe even better than Heather's body. Plus, since she has been ignored for so long, I bet she is really eager to prove herself. She has that underdog mentality. I see it as a win-win for everyone."

House's Political Science 212 classmate, Carrie Marshall, said she would love to show what she could do in a plus-one system.

"I could tell he was giving me serious consideration," said Marshall, "and I think it would have happened if his girlfriend wasn't so strongly against the system. So I'll just keep hoping my shot comes in the future. All I can do is keep coming to class each day and doing my thing. I can't control other people's perceptions. And, who knows, maybe one day I'll get a shot at him one-on-one."

House says that even though his girlfriend instantly shot down the proposal, he hopes it is something that could happen in the future.

"Apparently she didn't have as much to drink as I thought she did," said House. "But I'll keep bringing it up, because I think a plus-one system is best for everyone. And if not a plus-one system, then a playoff. Or, as some might call a playoff — an orgy."