CIA Gets Involved in Cam Newton Case In Hopes of Getting Auburn Tickets

A week after the FBI got involved in a probe of Cam Newton's recruitment, the CIA has reportedly also taken an active role in the case and is hoping to speak with Newton soon and attend his upcoming games.

"We don't know yet how far his recruitment extends," said CIA Director Leon Panetta. "Maybe foreign governments were involved. Who knows? But I know one way I can look into it would be getting 50-yard-line tickets for the Alabama game this Saturday, as well as next week's game against South Carolina."

Panetta said the CIA would then present the findings of its investigation the following Saturday in a luxury box at the SEC Championship Game. But he scoffed at implications the CIA taking an interest in the case was to get tickets.

"This is not about tickets. This is about American interests," he said. "Also, I am a memorabilia guy, so I would want to meet a few times with Cam and would require that he speak openly and honestly, turn over several of his game-used uniforms, and bring along a few Sharpies. And the ones with the thinner tips. The regular ones are too big for autographs."

Newton's father has been accused of demanding money from schools and the case will only become more intense in the lead up to the Auburn-Alabama rivalry game. In fact, top officials in all five branches of the military have personally offered to provide security detail at the game.

Vice President Biden has also asked to coach Auburn and hang out with the cheerleaders, but that request has been denied.