A Transcript of Randy Moss Interviewing Himself

Following Minnesota's Week 8 loss to the Patriots, Randy Moss said:

I'm not answering any more questions for the rest of this year. If it's an interview, I'm going to conduct it, so I'll answer my own questions, ask myself the questions and then give y'all the answers."

He was then cut by the Vikings.

Today, in Randy Moss' first interview since being released, Randy Moss sat down with Randy Moss.

[[[chat]]]Randy: Thanks for taking the time to speak with me.
Moss: Ain't no thang. You've been following me around all day. I finally decided to give in.
Randy: Wait. I thought you were interviewing me.
Moss: I thought I was interviewing you.
Randy: You are. And I am. This is very confusing.
Moss: Okay. Well, I guess we can both ask questions.
Randy: Can we?
Moss: Well played. You're clever.
Randy: Not as clever as you.
Moss: Again I'm confused.
Randy: How did you feel about getting released by the Vikings?
Moss: The Vikings? I don't care. They suck. And Brad Childress is a
Randy: Moron?
Moss: Exactly. It's like you're in my head.
Randy: Well, I sent you the questions before the interview.
Moss: And you're also in my head.
Randy: I guess so!
Moss: Are you worried that your NFL career might be over?
Randy: Nah. And I don't control that sort of thing. I just have to be me, Randy Moss.
Moss: Us, Randy Moss.
Randy: Yes. But do you think your reputation will prevent you from getting an offer from another team?
Moss: Wait, are you asking the questions now?
Randy: Haven't I always been?
Moss: Yes and no. I don't know.
Randy: Answer the question.
Moss: My reputation has been created by you people in the media. You've never had my best interests in mind.
Randy: Oh, please.
Moss: Nah, man. It's true. Your behavior has been terrible. Ripping coaches. Not trying. Complaining. Always putting your own interests above the team. You're the one who has created all of this for Randy Moss.
Randy: That's not the media doing that. That's YOU!
Moss: We are the media. What don't you understand?
Randy: Everything. I don't understand everything. This is very confusing. But didn't we do this to ourselves?
Moss: Stop pointing your finger at me! I've always been me! This interview is OVER! I'm not taking any questions from the media from now on!
Randy: …
Moss: …
Randy: …
Moss: …
Randy: Are you hungry? I'm hungry. Maybe we should get a sandwich.
Moss: No questions!
Randy: Then I won't ask if you also just pissed your pants. I had to go before the interview started.