According to several sources within the Stanford Chemistry Department and the National Collegiate Chemistry Association (NCCA), the school's renowned Chemistry Club is being investigated for numerous academic violations.
"It appears that Stanford's entire Chemistry Club is ineligible for NCCA competition because they have been having the school's football players take their exams," said an NCCA source. "If true, they would have their titles stripped and would have to return all of the prestigious Golden Mole trophies."
Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck has admitted helping the Chemistry Club.
"I just feel bad for them," he said. "They have absolutely nothing else going for them in their lives beyond academics so they get all stressed out. Whereas those of us on the football team have football, academics, girls. We're just better all-around people who are trying to help out the less fortunate."
This is the biggest football-related scandal to hit the NCCA since the 1980s when the Oklahoma Chemistry Club raised ethical concerns by creating a football player named Brian Bosworth.