Veteran Lingerie Football League official Mike Sampson has come under absolutely no fire after Saturday night's blown interference call during the waning seconds of the Lingerie Football League matchup between the Orlando Tits and the Southern Orlando Even Bigger Tits.
I am deeply, deeply indifferent about my actions in last night's game. These women are going out there and busting their extremely attractive asses for 25 minutes, and the last thing I wanted to do was affect the game in any way, and unfortunately I did," said Sampson. "But, fortunately, literally no one cares, especially the players. I mean, half of them think they're playing volleyball.
The call came with under 15 seconds to go in the 4th quarter, when Orlando quarterback Michelle Gomez ran around for a few seconds and desperately and sexily threw the ball in a forward direction. Southern Orlando cornerback Tanya Smith very clearly took down the intended receiver, a call that was impossible to miss since she was pretty much almost naked and it was pretty awesome.
LFL Commissioner Dennis Rodman said that while it appears to have been a blown call, there is no way to be absolutely sure. We have hundreds of camera angles from desperate overweight middle aged white guys who spent the game filming on their camera phones. The problem is literally every video was fixed on the player's chests, so we can't know for sure what happened.
When asked if the league would consider implementing instant replay, Rodman was adamant that wouldn't be the case. Human error is as much a part of this game as girls with super athletic bodies and giant racks and wedgie-inducing uniforms.
LFL Head of Officiating Bret Michaels announced that while he stands behind Sampson, he would not step in and personally referee future LFL games.
Though to be fair, I don't know if anyone will be reffing," said Michaels. "I think we're just gonna have an orgy instead," he added, removing his Ed Hardy sweatpants.