#18 — Magic Johnson for KFC
In his heyday, Magic Johnson was downright Jordan-esque in his shamelessness when it came to endorsements. While it's tough to pick the most ridiculous ad Magic did, this 1991 spot for KFC has to be in the running for two reasons: one, he's a selfish prick who won't share his chicken, and two, the ad is almost certainly responsible for the persistent stereotype that HIV-positive people can breathe fire.
#19 — Billy Martin and George Steinbrenner for Miller Lite
Billy Martin and George Steinbrenner didn't always get along, so who better to weigh in on Miller Lite's famed "Tastes Great, Less Filling" campaign than the Yankees' late owner and the manager he loved to abuse? Steinbrenner and Martin perform admirably here – you're not going to believe this, but they make light of Steinbrenner firing Martin! – but the real star is Martin's plaid blazer, which could have easily been the starting DH for the 1977 Yanks.
#20 — Ric Flair Finance
When the IRS is auditing you, there's really only one name you can trust: the Nature Boy. Or so Ric Flair thought. For reasons that have never totally been explained, Flair opened Ric Flair Finance, an online financial services company in 2007. Ric Flair Finance promised to use – and this is not a joke – a "figure-4 process" to help its clients get loans. (This sort of thing probably didn't cause our current financial meltdown, but it certainly didn't help.) Sadly, Flair learned that most borrowers want for their mortgage broker to wear suits rather than sequined robes, and Ric Flair Finance went under in about a year.
Fortunately, Flair eventually found an even safer place for wrestling fans to invest their money: the lottery!
#21 — Mike Tyson for Suntory Dry
The real secret behind Mike Tyson's early success in the ring? Terrible Japanese beer. Watch as Iron Mike destroys a heavy bag, then takes a long pull of a Suntory Dry. Probably too long off a pull. He must have been shitfaced when he lost to Buster Douglas. That's the only explanation.
#22 — Lyle Alzado for Tegrin and Wheel Magic
Wild defensive lineman Lyle Alzado was one of the NFL's most intimidating players during the 70s and 80s, so who better to star in a commercial for Tegrin, a medicated shampoo for psoriasis? Nothing derails a nice end rush quite as badly as an itchy scalp! Here's a spot where Alzado hawks the special shampoo with Janine Turner, who would go on to star in Northern Exposure.
Alzado was an endorser of almost unlimited range, though. Check him out endorsing Wheel Magic, a wheel cleaner. Remember that people were shocked, SHOCKED to learn that Alzado was on steroids when he came out in the early 90s. It's not like you could tell just by looking at his forty-four inch biceps.
#23 — Tony Siragusa for Depend's
A former NFL lineman hocking psoriasis shampoo might seem embarrassing, but our athletes' capacity for embarrassment has increased greatly since the 1980s. Here's Tony Siragusa for a new Depend's product that helps men with nastiness leaking from their crotchal orifii.
Just imagine what Tony Siragusa's guards and shields look like after a long day of sweating and leaking.
Enjoy your day.