Desperate Red Sox Sign John Fogerty to Play Centerfield

With the final month of the regular season fast approaching and their outfield situation a question mark due to Jacoby Ellsbury's injury problems, the Boston Red Sox made a bold move today by signing 65-year-old singer-songwriter John Fogerty to play centerfield.
The signing was announced in a press release from the team that read:
"Well, beat the drum and hold the phone – the Sox signed John Fogerty today! / We're born again, there's new grass on the field. / A-roundin' third, and headin' for home, it's a brown-eyed handsome man. / And terms of the deal … oh, whoa, they're not dis-clos-ed."
While the Red Sox trumpeted Fogerty's signing as the missing piece that will propel them back into playoff contention, others say it is just a desperate move by a desperate team.
"I'm not going to say it's as bad as only getting Jarrod Saltalamacchia at the trade deadline," said one A.L. general manager. "But it's nearly that bad. I'll be surprised if Fogerty is a noticeable improvement over Bill Hall. On the positive side, he does make their roster a little younger."
Fogerty, the former Creedence Clearwater Revival frontman who penned the hit "Centerfield" as a solo artist 25 years ago, has limited baseball experience. Although a scouting reported claims he "spent some time in the Mudville nine, watchin' it from the bench" and that he would "like to give this game a ride."
The singer has cancelled his remaining summer tour dates and will be in the lineup tonight after imploring manager Terry Francona to put him in.
"I'm ready to play today," said Fogerty. "However, I could use some new equipment, as all I have is a beat-up glove, a homemade bat and a brand-new pair of shoes."
The Red Sox also announced today that general manager Theo Epstein will seek treatment for a serious drug problem that began in late 2007.