Brett Favre Feeling Healthy After Warm Bath in Media Adoration

According to several reports, Brett Favre is feeling much better physically after a long soak in the warm waters of media love.
"He's feeling as good as he has since the last time he faked a retirement in order to hear everyone say how great he is," said Favre's agent, Bus Cook. "So, I guess as good as the last four or five summers."
After reports surfaced that Favre was retiring due to wear and tear on his body, he began an intensive rehabilitational regimen of watching ESPN and the NFL Network. He later switched to CNN and the internet, and then checked his cell phone for text messages.
"Right when he turned the TV on, he started feeling better," said Favre's wife, Deanna. "Some people are helped by physical rehab or acupuncture, but Brett has always responded best to people kissing his ass. There's nothing he loves better than hearing how much worse a team will be without him, or some NFL media guys running down his career records."
Even after hours in front of the television, Favre wasn't feeling quite good enough to return for another season. It wasn't until he checked his text messages that he made his final decision.
"Texting to Brett is like an immediate shot of adrenaline into his ego," said Cook. "He can send some texts out to teammates, coaches, friends or especially friendly media members and immediately get back short affirmations like: 'Ur the best! The NFL needs u!'
Favre now believes he is about 90-percent, but hopes to be 100-percent by the start of the season.
"He doesn't get to 100-percent until he has a huge press conference," said Deanna. "He says the heat of the TV lights loosens up his joints. But, yeah, it's really just because he's an egomaniac."