Tour de France Leader Quits After His Parents Buy Him a Car

Tour de France leader Alberto Contador took off the yellow jersey this morning and quit the competition after his parents got him a car for his birthday.
"It's only an old Chevy Cavalier," said Contador. "But, man, I have wanted a car and have been waiting for this day for years. No more riding a bike for me!"
Although he's only had the car for a few hours, Contador says he already can't believe he rode a bike all those years.
"God, I bet I looked so stupid riding around on a freaking bike," he said. "It's so humiliating. But now I can go anywhere I want and do anything I want."
"As long as you let us know where you're going and that you'll be home by 11:30, right?" cautioned Cindy Contador, Alberto's mother.
"Yes, mom," said Alberto.
"And don't go over the speed limit!" she added.
The new car for the two-time Tour de France winner has led several other top cyclists to quit the race, too.
"They just want me to drive them around everywhere," said Contador. "Which is cool by me, as long as they chip in for gas."