Pirates Phenom Crushed to Death by Massive Anvil

Pittsburgh Pirates phenom Pedro Alvarez was crushed by a massive anvil that fell from the sky today while walking to PNC Park. He died immediately.
After getting off to a slow start upon being called up from the minors last month, the No. 2 overall pick in the 2008 MLB Draft had hit .339 with 7 home runs and 15 RBI so far in July. His power bat has jumpstarted a young, talented Pirates lineup and given hope to a fanbase that hasn't seen a winning season since 1992. No one knows where the huge, two-story, almost comically-sized anvil came from.
"He was walking over to the stadium from downtown and right when he got over the Clemente Bridge, I waved to him," said Pirates utility infielder Andy LaRoche. "And then … BOOM! The huge anvil from the sky. He was gone."
"It's a tragedy," said standout Pirates centerfielder Andrew McCutchen. "One I always sort of expected would happen to me."
Pirates fans gathered at the site to mourn Alvarez. No one knows how to move the anvil, estimated to weigh more than 75,000 tons.
"I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up about this team," said Pirates fan Sheila Wozniak. "I was so stupid. But, you know, in a way this is almost better. Now he'll never sign with the Yankees as soon as he becomes a free agent. He'll be a Pirate forever. Forever under that enormous sky anvil, which I seriously doubt anyone will ever be able to move."


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