Athletic program’s internal investigation finds no wrongdoing

An internal investigation by the University of Florida into possible malfeasance in their athletic program has determined that no wrongdoing took place. "In fact," said Florida athletics director Jeremy Foley, "not only was there no wrongdoing, there was only rightdoing. Yay!" Foley said he will immediately report the good news to the NCAA so they can set about not punishing the program. "Wow. What great news out of Florida," said NCAA president Mark Emmert. "Glad to hear our programs are being so good." Florida also announced findings today that the school is totally awesome.