Arizona officials detain Hedo Turkoglu on suspicion of being an alien

NBA forward Hedo Turkoglu was set to join the Phoenix Suns, but his stay in Arizona may be short after he was detained by state troopers yesterday under suspicion of being an alien.
"We are cracking down on illegal aliens in Arizona," said Arizona governor Jan Brewer. "But we must also be vigilant against regular aliens, too."
Turkoglu was nabbed by police in downtown Phoenix after a meeting with Suns officials. The officer who detained him noted in his records that "the suspect looks freakish," "is nearly 7-feet tall," "with ridiculous eyes, teeth, hair and facial features," "does not appear to be human and is a definite alien," and also: "if he is human, what a sad, pathetic-looking bastard."
The former Kings, Magic and Raptors marksman denied that he was an alien, but was taken into custody anyway when he spoke in broken English.
"I am told it wasn't Mexican talk, thank goodness," said Gov. Brewer. "But it definitely wasn't American either. It's probably the accent from whatever planet he is from."
Officials were tipped off to Turkoglu by several 9-1-1 calls reporting a "suspicious life form," "the ugliest f—king person I've ever seen," and "Hedo Turkoglu, a washed up piece of crap who I hope is not in town because the Suns are planning to get him, 'cause that would pretty much doom our chances for next season."