USA Fans Gather in Bars to Watch News About USA

USA fans all over the United States filed into bars early this morning to have a beer and cheer on their nation.
"I love the U.S.," said Jeff Smith, who watched the news at a lower Manhattan bar with some friends. "I've loved them ever since I was born here."
The crowd erupted early when CNN scrolled across the news that both the Dow Jones and the NASDAQ opened higher. But the cheering was quickly quieted when a live feed of oil gushing into the Gulf of Mexico came on the screen. A group of English fans in the corner happily cheered and high-fived.
It was the same scene elsewhere. At a bar in Chicago, fans broke into chants of "U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!" on the news that a predator drone in Afghanistan had taken out a high-ranking al-Qaeda official and his family. Minutes later, the bar patrons erupted into boos when footage came on off a tornado that tore through Bilings, Montana.
One nervous U.S. fan at a bar in Atlanta nervously kept an eye on a TV set to BBC for news on Greece, admitting that while he was a U.S. fan, he had bet heavily on a turnaround for the Greek economy. In the same bar a group of Swiss fans sat off to the corner and politely cheered positive news for every country, while some French fans a few tables over smoked heavily and cursed at the television.
While all the U.S. fans rooted on the home team, the mixed results led to disagreements about how the nation could improve. For example, at a bar in St. Louis, a fistfight among a few drunk fans broke out when one fan booed the image of President Barack Obama and demanded he be fired and replaced with Sarah Palin.Other fans demanded the channel be switched to MSNBC or Fox News.
"The Fox announcers are always so negative," said a fan at a new bar in Austin, Texas. "It's like they want us to lose."
Most bars compromised by setting the televisions to CNN with the volume turned all the way down.
"I know some people disagree, but I think we've got a great guy leading us in Obama," said a fan at a bar in Seattle. "We just need better execution and effort from the citizens. Me included, I guess. Perhaps I shouldn't sit here every day watching the news."


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