International community punishes North Korea with red card

The United Nations showed the rogue state of North Korea a red card today, the harshest penalty recognized by the international community.
"I think we made our point," said UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, who personally held up a red card in the direction of the nation while sailing by on a French vessel. "Kim Jong-il thought he could get away with it. He thought he could bring the region to the brink of war. But, no. He has been shown a red card. I think we can consider the matter resolved."
The North Korean leader must now decide his response to being shown a red card. UN officials hope — and expect — that he will immediately end his nation's nuclear program and open up North Korea to the modern world.
"It's a red card, after all," said Ban Ki-moon. "The most damning of all cards. We laminated it and everything. Plus, when I produced it, I held it up very high over my head and made sure my face looked quite resolute. I don't see how anyone could ignore such a message."
Nevertheless, it seems the message of the red card has been ignored as North Korea conducted another missile test this morning. Kim Jong-il also sent the UN his own card.
"It's a brown card," said a source. "It appears he just took a dump in an envelope."
"Dammit!" said Ban Ki-moon. "I don't know what else can be done. I fear this madman will take over the entire world. Maybe he'll stop if we blow a whistle at him."