The 20 Most WTF Sports Couples

Athletes thrill us with their exploits on the field of play. But that's not all they do.
You may be surprised to know that many athletes also like to engage in coitus with other people. It's true.
Here are the most confusing, messed up and downright insane of those romantic pairings. Let's call it: SportsPickle's 20 Most WTF Sports Couples.

1. Marko Jaric and Adrianna Lima

Who is she?:Victoria's Secret Angel, supermodel, and arguably the hottest woman on Earth.
Who is he?Career NBA journeyman, possible caveman, and the luckiest man on Earth (no argument necessary.)
Why is this a WTF couple:See above photo.
How they (probably) met:He arranged for one of his Serbian mob connections to kidnap her and proceeded to spend 24 hours a day with her for the next 7 months. The Stockholm Syndrome that resulted from the incident has yet to wear off.
Why they'll (probably) break up:See above photo again.

2. Bill Belichick and Linda Holliday

Who is he?Jesus or Satan, depending on whether you call it a hoagie or a sub.
Who is she?Two-time runner up in the Miss Arkansas pageantand proud owner of a pair of tits faker than any goal line play action to Kevin Faulk.
Why is this a WTF couple?Two-timerunner up in the MissArkansaspageant. Bill "Hoodie and the Blowfish" Belichick. Whyisn'tthis f*cked up?
What their kid would be like:Pretty much what you'd expect the offspring of Bill Belichick and the two time runner up in the Miss Arkansas pageant to be like: evil and dumb.
How they'll (probably) break up:She'll get creeped out after finding hundreds of videotapes of her sleeping.

3. Candace Parker and Shelden Williams

Who is she?The best female basketball player on the planet who turns heads.
Who is he?NBA journeyman and former Duke star who turns heads in horror because of his oddly-shaped face.
Why is this a WTF couple? This might be the only case in history where an NBA player has a kid and it should be up to Mom to teach him how to play basketball.
Why they're together:They probably feel a kinship from being a part of two very exclusive clubs: Parker, a woman who can dunk, and Williams, a Duke player you don't want to stab repeatedly.
Why they'll (probably) break up: Not sure. But let's assume J.J. Redick will be at fault somehow.

4. Danica Patrick and (whoever that guy is)

Who is she?The only reason you've ever even considered visiting GoDaddy.com.
Who is he?No, really, who is he?
Why is this a WTF couple?Look, it's one thing to be dating Bob Saget. He's got enough cash money to make it somewhat excusable. It's an entirely different thing to be dating a guy that justlooks likeBob Saget.That's like drinking non-alcoholic beer: It feels lame, looks lamer, and you get nothing out of it.
Why they'll (probably) break up:Believe it or not, Saget Lite will probably end the relationship after getting sick of constantly dealing with her picking unnecessary fights.

5. Dwyane Wade and Star Jones

Who is he?NBA star, one of Esquire and GQ's best dressed men, soon to be proud owner of a ginormous new contract.
Who is she?Dude,Star Jones.
Why is this a WTF sports couple?Dwyane, you're the most popular athlete in South Florida, you spend a significant amount of time with Charles Barkley, and this was the best you could do? Come on, man.
Why they (probably) broke up:To be fair, it's never been confirmed that they were actually dating, but still, since they were both in the state of Florida at the time, go ahead and blame J.J. Redick for this one, too.

6. Matt Leinart and Paris Hilton

Who is he?The Arizona Cardinals' best hope for a return to national irrelevance.
Who is she?Like the hotels she stands to inherit, she's dirty, unkempt, and the very last place you want to lay down inside.
Why is this a WTF sports couple?To understand what it's like when they hook up, imagine the epic battle in The Lord Of the Rings, but replace people with STDs. Seriously, if these two got married they'd have to register at the Mayo Clinic.
Why they (probably) broke up:She dumped him after noticing that one of his penis sores wasn't from her.

7. Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson

Who is he?Jesus or Satan, depending on whether or not you're Alex Rodriguez's mother.
Who is she?Debuted in one of the greatest movies of the last decade, her career has been a gradual descent ever since. In other words, she's the Hideo Nomo of acting.
Why is this a WTF sports couple?I think we all expected more of her, but the truth is her dating life has mirrored her career pretty accurately. She went from a cool rocker (Chris Robinson of the Black Crowes) to Mathew McConaghey, and once she got a taste of terrible, she's just been going further down the path of douche. A-Rod was her "Bride Wars."
What their kid would be like:Please, no, let's not think about that.

8. Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian

Who is he?Future diabeticand apparently one of the few openly gay professional athletes in America.
Who is he? Wait, it's a she? Are you serious?
Why is this a WTF sports couple?You're sure she's not a dude? Like, there's empirical evidence confirming that she's a woman?
How they (probably) met: I mean unless I see hard proof in the form of test results or at least doctor's note or something, I'm just not going to believe it.

9. Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson

Who is he?Serial hottie dater and serial playoff loser.
Who is she?A very attractive, yet brainless, pop star … who is still probably twice as smart as Tony Romo.
Why is this a WTF sports couple?If Tony Romo was the long snapper for the Cleveland Browns, would he be pulling in such consistently quality tail? Doubtful. But still, for someone to be so awful on the playing field yet so awesome at playing the field is just messed up.
What their kid would be like:Blonde, borderline retarded, and owner of a cannon for a right arm. So, Jonathan Papelbon.

10. Roger Goodell and Jane Skinner

Who is he?If you've just been drafted in the first round, he's the guy waiting to give you giant hug. After you've been drafted, he's the guy waiting to give you a giant suspension.
Who is she?If you're looking at a Fox News company photo, she's the female who isn't completely blonde.
Why is this a WTF sports couple?A Fox News host married to the commissioner of the NFL. This is the worst thing to happen to black people since everyone found out what "skeet skeet" meant.
How they (probably) met:A blind date set up by The Man, a mutual friend.

11.Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian

Who is he?He broke the mold for running backs at USC. But it's totally cool 'cause he can pay to repair the mold with booster money.
Who is she?As far as this list goes, she's the Jackie Robinson of hot Kardashians.
Why is this a WTF sports couple?Let's examine Reggie Bush's life to date: Goes to one of the best possible schools for a star athlete, wins the Heisman, goes to one of the best possible cities for a star athlete, wins the Super Bowl, and he's tappingthatass. No one person should be able to have all that going for him in one lifetime.
A typical date night:A quiet dinner in which four words and 85 texts are exchanged, followed by seven straight hours of screwing.

12. Pete Sampras and Bridgette Wilson

Who is he?According to Andre Agassi, he's kind of a douchebag. But according to everyone else, well … actually everyone else thinks he's kind of a douchebag, too.
Who is she?Blonde, star in an Adam Sandler movie, former Miss Teen USA, she's basically a "appeared in a Rascal Flatts video" credit away from being the ultimate douchebag wife.
Why is this a WTF sports couple?Can we please just have one sport whose athletes don't date way above their means in the looks department?
Typical date night:Dinner at Roger Goodell and Jane Skinner's house, followed by seven straight minutes of screwing.

13. Heather Mitts and A.J. Feeley

Who is he?Career NFL journeyman. (F*cking journeymen, how do they get such quality tang?)
Who is she?The latest in the long line of attractive US women's soccer players, she's also a spokesperson for Dick's Sporting Goods. You know who else was a spokesperson for Dick's Sporting Goods? Ben Roethlisberger was a spokesperson for Dick's Sporting Goods.
Why is this a WTF sports couple?Any time your significant other can play a game of "1 Degree Of Ben Roethlisberger", something's seriously wrong.
Typical date night:Dinner and a movie followed by AJ Feeley constantly reminding her who he is.

14. Dennis Rodman and Carmen Electra

Who is he?He starred in a film with Jean Claude Van Damme, he won several NBA titles with Michael Jordan, he once gave Eddie Vedder a piggyback ride, and he wrestled with Hulk Hogan. He is: The Most Interesting Man In The World.
Who is she?Former Baywatch star, former Playboy cover girl, and former Mrs. Dennis Rodman. She has the Triple Crown of things I wouldn't want my mom to be known for.
Why is this a WTF sports couple?The Wikipedia entry about their wedding is a work of minimalist writing so brilliant Ernest Hemingway himself would be proud: "In November 1998, he married Carmen Electra in a state of intoxication, and the marriage was annulled after 10days." Boom.
Why they (probably) broke up:Rodman wanted to focus on his career, and Electra wanted to focus on her not being married to Dennis Rodman anymore.

15. Valeri Bure and Candace Cameron

Who is he?Less successful, but still pretty successful, younger sibling of NHL star Pavel Bure.
Who is she?Less crazy, but still pretty crazy, younger sibling of Growing Pains star Kirk Cameron.
Why is this a WTF sports couple?Forget the fact that Kirk Cameron's involved, you know who introduced them?Dave CoulierfromFull House.Cut. It. out.
What their kid is (probably) like:The Homeschool Jesus. Tim Tebow on skates. Very, very judgmental. (You get the idea.)

16. Sasha Vujacic and Maria Sharapova

Who is he?A Laker playing above his means when it comes to the ladies, a.k.a the Bizarro Odom.
Who is she?A striking blonde tennis star who is as successful on the court as she is off it, a.k.a the Bizarro Kournikova.
Why is this a WTF sports couple?The fact that they probably swap headbands is inexcusable.
How they (probably) met:He saw how Marko Jaric's Serbian Mob connections bagged him a total hottie, and figured he could get something done in his native Slovenia. He was right.

17. Nomar Garciaparra and Mia Hamm

Who is he?Living proof that anyone can overcome the afflictions of OCD and become a successful so as long as they take a crapload of steroids.
Who is she?The most marketable and well known American women's soccer star right up until her teammate took her shirt off on national television.
Why is this a WTF sports couple?There's no way two people that boring should ever cohabitate.
How they (probably) met:However they met, it's safe to say the story is really really uninteresting. There's probably a gazebo and a game of shuffleboard involved.
If they had a kid, he'd be:Tim Duncan. But the Tim Duncan of, like … bowling.

18. Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen

Who is he?(see Belichick, Bill)
Who is she?(see Lima, Adrianna)
Why is this a WTF sports couple?It's becoming pretty evident that Brady's merely climbing the hotness ladder and knocking up every girl along the way, leaving in his wake a trail of perfect physical specimen offspring.
What their kid will (probably) be like:Humanity's last remaining hope for survival. And wearing a $700 ascot.

19. Elisha Cuthbert and Sean Avery

Who is he?Literally he's a professional asshole.
Who is she?Star ofThe Girl Next Doorand the upcoming sequelWhy IsThe Girl Next Door Dating That Douchebag Sean Avery?
Why is this a WTF sports couple?Imagine seeing your boyhood crush go off and hook up with the douchebag. Now imagine your boyhood crush's way hotter sister hooking up with the douchebag's way douchier brother. Eventhose twothink this is f*cked up.
Typical date night:Dinner followed by two straight hours of him annoying her with pickup lines like "Can I get sent to the box now?"
Why they (probably) broke up: See "Typical date night."

20. Serena Williams and Brett Ratner

Who is she?A seemingly very nice woman about whom I have no bad things to say. (In case she's reading this.)
Who is he?The poorest f*cking excuse for a director working today by a very wide margin, he is everything every film director should strive tonotbecome. (In case he's reading this.)
Why is this a WTF sports couple?Between Ratner (X Men 3) and her new boyfriend Common (Terminator Salvation), Serena clearly has a fetish for guys who help bring down once stellar movie franchises. So if you're the kid fromHome Alone 3, look out.
Why they (probably) broke up:After a while, Serena constantly asking to shove things down his throat during sex just got too weird for Brett's taste, which is weird, because Brett's taste includes threeRush Hourmovies.


Advertisement