Bidding War Set To Begin On Massive Failure Lebron James

There are only six weeks until the start of the NBA free agency, and teams around the league are already chomping at the bit to offer a contract to Lebron James, easily one of the biggest failures and chokers in NBA history.
"Everyone knows, of course, that we will be offering Lebron a max deal," said Knicks head coach Mike D'Antoni. "This franchise will do everything it can to land Lebron James. We will stop at nothing to reach the second round of the playoffs."
James has been coy about his plans.
"I'm just really disappointed with the way this season ended," he said, following Cleveland's playoff elimination at the hands of the underdog Celtics. "I thought we could win a title. However, it is encouraging to hear that teams still want me to play for them. With how much heat I've been taking the last few days in the press, I was worried that wouldn't be the case. I was going to just take the league minimum from whoever would take me."
But some of James' suitors have said they will consider reducing their offers to him due to the fact that he is a complete and total loser.
"It is a concern," said Bulls GM Gar Forman. "Do you want to pay all that money to a worthless f—k up like Lebron James? I mean, we're still offering him the max, of course. Because he's awesome. But it's unlikely we also make him majority owner."