Arizona Deports Matt Leinart to Mexico

The state of Arizona deported Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart to Mexico today in a blatant move to build support for its unpopular new illegal immigrant law.
And the move seems to be working.
"This new law is incredibly racist and un-American," said Luis Perez of Tucson. "I am a legal U.S. citizen and I have been stopped on the street and asked to produce identification. But, hey, that's something I'm okay with if it means Matt Leinart isn't our quarterback next year."
Arizona's new law attempts to crack down on the number of illegal immigrants living in the state, but it is likely unconstitutional and has been met with widespread public outrage. Leinart was born in California to American parents and has no Mexican heritage.
"Whatever," said Arizona Gov. Brewer. "All the people of Arizona know is that Matt Leinart is gone to Mexico and that it happened under my watch. My poll numbers are through the roof."
Leinart was reportedly pulled from his home in Glendale, Ariz., on Sunday night by Arizona state troopers, driven across the border into Mexico and dumped alongside the road.
"Don't never come back! You suck!" witnesses say they heard an officer yell. "You'll never be Kurt Warner!"
To which Leinart reportedly responded: "Chill, brah. Chill."
A spokesperson for the Arizona State Police say no such exchange ever took place.
"Mateo Leinart was taken across the border without incident," said the spokesperson. "Our officers found him asleep in his bed and surrounded by empty tequila bottles. Under the new law, we acted accordingly. Also, Matt Leinart has a career 70.8 quarterback rating over four seasons. With the receivers he's had to throw to?! I mean, is he kidding?! It's almost impossible to be that bad."
Leinart's agent, Mike Ornstein, says he is working to secure his client's return from Mexico.
"Unfortunately, that's looking very unlikely," said Ornstein. "The state of Arizona is very adamant that he never play quarterback for the Cardinals. Also, Matt says he is having a great time in Mexico. He just wants to make sure his checks keep clearing."


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