BIO: Wowed teammates at Bel Air Prep with world class athleticism and dark skin tone. Wore his sport coat inside out during school day. This has nothing to do with sports. It's just really sweet.
When derided by critics who say he benefited from the 8-foot tall hoops and 20-foot courts of the sitcom world, Smith would simply make a joke about their momma and everyone would laugh and forget the whole thing. And sometimes they'd just dance.
Real life resemblance: Barack Obama.
BIO: Though he claims he was running from a dog, no visual evidence was secured of the canine and Rodriguez was tried as an adult and sentenced to 10 years in prison for various property violations. This lead to the infamous fictional LA race riots. "The Jet" stole home while playing for the Dodgers in the twilight of career. It was his first successful attempt at stealing home in 34 tries that season.
Whether named after an Elton John song or the gang in West Side Story, Benny is also a member of the Gayest Nicknames Hall Of Fame.
Real life resemblance: Otis Nixon, if his nickname was Otis "Day And the Knights" Nixon
BIO: Hobbs had one of the greatest batting eye's of all-time (which is odd, considering those same eyes somehow saw Glenn Close as sexually attractive). The New York Knights star also possessed a swing so sweet it gave Wilford Brimley the diabetes. He filed for bankruptcy following pennant-winning home run after a New York district court ordered him to pay stadium light repair bills and medical costs for victims of falling glass.
His legacy was tarnished a bit in his later years due to a tell-all book by The Fat Bat Boy Bobby that claimed Hobb's special bat "Wonderboy" was composed primarily of cork.
Real life resemblance: Alex Rodriguez, minus the unbearable stench of doucheyness.
BIO: Banged Rosario Dawson on the regular, which is Hall of Fame worthy by itself. Probably the second most famous Jesus in the world, or possibly third if you're talking to people who are really into "The Big Lebowski".
Shuttlesworth enjoyed a successful professional career, but only won a championship after being paired with fictional players who look a lot like Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce.
Real life resemblance: (don'tsayRayAllendon'tsayRayAllendon'tsayRayAllen) uhhh … whatever: Ray Allen.
BIO: His shoot-first, cocky attitude finally settled the debate over whether or not wolves are the assholes of the animal kingdom. They are. But that bird who chirps outside my window at, like, 6:00 a.m. is a close second. GODDAMMIT, BIRD!
A Scott Howard tell-all book revealed "The Wolf" was merely a combination of excessive hair growth due to hypertrichosis and cocaine use.
Today he wears boat shoes with socks and watches History Channel marathons with unbridled energy and swagger as Middle-Aged Wolf.
Real life resemblance: Pau Gasol before, during, and after a shower.