Roger Goodell’s suspension-generating flowchart

There is a perception that Roger Goodell hands out suspensions and fines in a completely arbitrary manner, as though he just pulls penalties out of a hat or throws darts at a suspension dartboard.
But that's absurd! Only a moron would do that! And we know a moron could never become the commissioner of a major professional sports league.
The truth is that Goodell has a very specific decision-making process that he uses to determine possible player suspensions. It's this flowchart.
Take a look.