Butler pulls out of championship game in effort to end horrible butler puns

With just one more victory between his team and an improbable national championship, Butler head coach Brad Stevens announced today that the team is pulling out of the NCAA title game against Duke in hopes of putting an end to the nationwide plague of horrible butler-related puns. "If I have to read or hear 'the Butler did it' one more time," said Stevens, "I swear I will kill someone. I know I appear to be a calm, collected man. And I am. But everyone has a limit. And we have been pushed beyond all reasonable extremes." The school had considered changing its name before Monday's tip, but the legal paperwork was expected to take too long, leaving forfeit the only option. The New York Times, as well as dozens of other papers across the country, have reported the school's decision with the headline: 'The Butler Did It: Pulled Out of the Title Game, That Is."