The five newest inductees to the XFL Hall of Fame were enshrined yesterday afternoon in a ceremony in front of Pete's Bowl-A-Rama off Route 16 in Rapid City, South Dakota. Though he was too busy "doing stuff" to attend the ceremony, Vince McMahon offered his congratulations to the players.
"Today is a great day for the XFL and its dozens to possibly even scores of fans," said the league founder. "Now these much deserving players will have a signed Polaroid of themselves on the wall behind the snack counter next to all the former greats who were privileged enough to grace the hallowed grounds of wherever we played the games."
"I never thought I'd see this day," said former Las Vegas Outlaw running back Leroy Collins. "My picture … up on the wall … next to greats like Big Sexy and He Hate Me and, um … Carl, is it? I wanna say Carl. Anyways, it's a great feeling."
Memphis Maniax linebacker Jeff Kerr was especially gracious in his speech.
"I just want to thank Mr. McMahon for giving me the opportunity to play professional football after literally everyone else, including my parents, wife, and children, told me it would never happen and that I should just give up and get a job," he said. "You've made me the happiest man in the world. Also I want to say 'Happy Birthday' to Timmy in Lane 3, sign-ups for League night on Wednesday will be starting next week, and Ted, your pizza's ready. Thank you all so very much."
Though he was snubbed for a third consecutive year, former Birmingham Bolt Casey Weldon remains optimistic for his chances of one day joining this illustrious group.
"I'm pretty sure I'll get in next year, since there are only three of us left who haven't been enshrined yet," said the former two-time RC Cola Player of the Week. "And, sorry, we don't have any size 12 1/2s. Could you fit into a 12 or 13?"