Nervous Rookie Pitcher Can’t Remember if He Throws Righty or Lefty

Just a day before his scheduled spring training debut, sweat-covered Pirates rookie pitcher Brad Lincoln has announced that he forgets if he uses his right hand or left hand to pitch.

"Dammit, which one is it?" Lincoln said to the press, amidst moments of deep thinking and pretending to throw with both arms.

Lincoln began experiencing problems during a fielding drill where he could not find his glove, which, according to Lincoln, would have been a good indicator of which hand he uses to throw. The problem was only exacerbated by the lack of film room or Internet access in the Pirates' Bradenton training facility.

Despite concerns, Lincoln expressed confidence that he would remember his throwing arm within a timetable of four to six hours he had set for himself, claiming that if he thought about other things, it would probably come to him.

Three days later, Lincoln still finds himself unsure.

Since the initial incident, Lincoln has attempted several different methods of recollection. While in the bathroom this morning, Lincoln reportedly searched his arms for the scar left behind by his 2007 Tommy John surgery, but he claimed there were too many spots on his arm and his shoulder he "couldn't really see." Several teammates confirmed that Lincoln tried on their gloves but complained that a glove on either hand felt fine, and neither was as "uncomfortable" or "weird-feeling" as he hoped. Lincoln even toyed with the idea that he's been ambidextrous the whole time but quickly rejected that notion.

"It's not a good situation," said Pirates manager John Russell. "But it's the kind of thing a lot of young pitchers go through. He's just going to get through it on his own."

According to Lincoln, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance helped him to remember which is his right hand, but it did not help him as far as his pitching arm conundrum.