Your Grandpa Starts Band in Hopes of Getting 2011 Super Bowl Gig

For the first time in decades, your grandfather is fiddling around with some of his old instruments.
"I'm going to play the Super Bowl!" exclaimed your grandad, 82. "Me and Norm. You remember him from the 50th anniversary party. He had his hip replaced last year. We'd have a bigger band, but everyone else has passed."
Grandpa can play the trombone and a little bit of violin, while ol' Norm will handle vocals.
"He has a nice voice. A real nice voice. I would never tell the bugger to his face, but he does. That's the truth," said grandpa. "He sang in a barbershop quartet in Korea. He's got a voice that will make a Chinaman's eyes round."
With no other elderly bands left to perform with Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band, and The Who all having played halftime in recent years, grandpa is hoping the NFL will turn to him and Norm.
"Oooh, boy. Just to see the look on your grandmother's face when she looks up at the TV and sees me and Norm performing at the Super Bowl," said grandpa. "She'll say: 'That rascal! Him and Norm — always up to no good!'"
The duo has yet to decide on a name yet — Norm is partial to Stars And Stripes Forever — but grandpa says they will be surprisingly modern.
"Things haven't passed me by just yet. We'll be a lot like Glenn Miller and his band," he said. "But we'll play some new stuff like Dave Brubeck and Miles Davis, too."
Grandpa is also looking to indulge in the life afforded a modern music star.
"I know about all the free and easy drugs. And I could use some for my blood pressure and arthritis. Drug prices are going through the roof with this Kenyan we've got as president."
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell reportedly is close to announcing your grandpa and Norm as next year's Super Bowl hallftime performers, and will push them to admit David Bowie to their band.


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