Tim Tebow changing his masturbation techniques

Former Florida Gator and current NFL prospect Tim Tebow has announced that he is currently working with a team of experts to improve his masturbation technique in the hopes that doing so will benefit the former Heisman winner as he gets ready for life in the NFL.Tebow, an outspoken proponent of chastity, seeks to shorten and quicken his techniques to prepare for the professional ranks, where he intends to remain a virgin. “Everyone’s been telling Tim that once he gets to the pros, there are going to be so many more beautiful women coming at him, and at a much faster rate, than in college," said Florida head coach Urban Meyer. "But I think with the right discipline, once training camp comes around he'll be able to fire one off at a moment's notice."Tebow could not be reached for comment as he was “busy" in the bathroom, though a spokesperson said he’ll be out in a few minutes.


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