Sean Payton’s Testicles Named Super Bowl Co-MVPs

For the first time since Super Bowl XII the Super Bowl MVP will be shared. In 1978 Randy White and Harvey Martin of the Dallas Cowboys shared the award, and now the left and right nuts of New Orleans Saints' head coach Sean Payton have earned the honor.
"They stepped up huge for us," said Saints quarterback Drew Brees, who threw for 288 yards and two touchdowns in the win. "They don't get a lot of attention because they're hidden inside his pants, but we couldn't have won without them."
Despite being smaller than every player on the field at just 140 pounds apiece, Payton's testicles proved the difference in the game by calling for an onside kick to open the second half. This after going for it on 4th-and-goal — and failing — late in the second half. The Saints recovered the kick and scored their first touchdown of the game, taking the lead in the game.
"I don't know which one of them called for it, or if they made the decision together," said Saints tight end Jeremy Shockey. "But I wanted to hug his entire scrotum after we got the kick."
Indianapolis head coach Jim Caldwell said he could only tip his cap to Payton's nuts.
"We prepared for Drew Brees, we prepared for their running backs and receivers," he said. "But we couldn't contain his balls. They overwhelmed us."
With their newfound notoriety, Payton's testicles are expected to have numerous endorsement and adult film opportunities. But they are first headed to Disney World.
"My wife and I are taking a much needed vacation," said Payton. "My testicles still have some work to do."


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