NFL Lays Off More Than 1,600 Players

Super Bowl XLIV may have earned record TV ratings, but that has to be of little consolation to the more than 1,600 NFL players who learned this week that they will be without jobs until September 2010 at the earliest in just the latest sign the U.S. economy has yet to recover.
"We wish we could tell them to all to show up on Sunday and play games, but it's not something that's possible right now," said commissioner Roger Goodell. "We'll reevaluate things in the coming months and see where we are come fall. That's all we can promise right now."
Many NFL players say they saw this coming and have socked away some of their income so they can make ends while being unemployed, but other, dumber players have been caught off guard.
"No football? Not even a Pro Bowl?" said Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco. "I just bought a semi. And launched a new news network. I'm screwed."
Collegiate stars who were hoping to step right in to the NFL and earn huge salaries are also feeling the pinch and have had to resort to looking for alternate employment options. Collegiate legend Tim Tebow is reportedly even considering going over the border to play in the Canadian Football League. The Arena Football League is no longer an option, as it suspended operations in August 2009 due to bankruptcy.
Goodell hopes that's not in the future for the NFL.
"It's just our offseason," he said. "Relax. We're loaded. I'm actually erecting a Scrooge McDuck-style, gold-filled silo in my office."