NBC, Vancouver Apologize for Excellent Handling of Women’s Figure Skating Final

In a statement released this morning, NBC sports chief Dick Ebersol, speaking on behalf of his network and the city of Vancouver, issued a public apology for their coverage and hosting of the Women’s Figure Skating final Thursday night, which many have called “extremely professional”, and, “of the highest quality.”
“Over the course of these games, we at NBC, as well as the city of Vancouver, have received numerous criticisms from attendees, viewers, and athletes alike for providing you with consistently incompetent coverage and presentation from things like the Opening Ceremonies to the quality and safety of the venues”, said Ebersol. "But last night there were no problems. In fact, it was quite a remarkable evening. And for that we sincerely apologize.”
In response to several skaters’ remarks pertaining to the high quality of the ice on the rink, Vancouver Organizing Committee head John Furlong said, “I have absolutely no idea why anyone would say that about our facilities. We check and recheck to make sure there are as many potential problems for these athletes as possible, and for some of the ladies to come out and say that we performed our job well is ludicrous.”
When asked later how the network and city plan on approaching the Closing Ceremonies, Ebersol said, “Wait, what? There’s aClosingCeremonies too? Aww f—k me.”