Know-It-All Roommate Suddenly an Expert on Figure Skating, Too

Dan Nielsen of Lansing, Michigan was looking forward to the Vancouver Games more than most. And not just because he's a big sports fan. No, Dan was even more excited for the two-week reprieve from his roommate Greg's non-stop analysis of all things athletic.

"Greg and I watch sports all the time, mostly football and basketball," says Dan. "And while he's my boy and all that, the guy thinks he's a friggin' expert oneverything. He's always screaming at coaches about very specific play-calls or berating players for being out of position, like he knows what he's talking about. The guy just never shuts up."

But the Winter Games and its obscure sports would put an end to all that. Or so he thought.Dan says his delusion lasted approximately three skaters into the men's figure skating short program.
"All of a sudden, Greg says: 'The Korean totally blew that combo.' And I was like: 'Dude, what the f—k? You've never even watched this sport before!'"

Dan says the problem only grew worse as the evening wore on.
"By the end of the night, he was saying things like, 'he's going to get a big deduction for that footwork' and 'this guy has no shot if he doesn't throw in a quad.' He was just parroting what the announcers had said ten minutes earlier. I mean, I heard them too, guy. Who does he think he's fooling?"

In the days since the figure skating event, Greg's "areas of expertise" have broadened to include bobsled, biathlon and skeleton.
"We were watching women's skeleton – women's skeleton- and the announcer said that some of the competitors were protesting the spoilers on the British woman's helmet. You know what Greg said? 'There are specific rules for headgear in the skeleton, and she must abide by them.' Really! He said that. If the Olympics were any longer, I'd buy my own TV for my room."

Greg was not available for an interview as he was involved in a heated message board exchange about the effect ice conditions had on the short-track speed skating results.


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