Handicapper: Super Bowl

There's nothing that can be added to any analysis of these teams or this game at this point after two weeks of hype. Instead, let's take a look at some of the prop bets you should bet on.
Peyton Manning total passing yards will be an …
Odd number (-115) / Even number (-115) … Have you seen Peyton Manning? Dude is odd. Very odd. Any time you have a chance to put money on his oddness, do it.
Total pass attempts by Peyton Manning …
Over 36.5 (-135) / Under 36.5 (+105) … A Super Bowl is everything Peyton Manning has worked for his entire life. Do you honestly think he won't check to a passing play at every opportunity? That he won't much rather put the game in his hands over those of Joseph Addai or Goddammit Donald? This is an easy one.
Pick: Over
Will Reggie Wayne score a TD in the game?
Yes (+110) / No (-140) … He's Indianapolis' top receiver, they run a pass-happy offense and New Orleans' defense isn't all that great. Yes seems like a fairly safe pick. I just wish some sports book was offering odds on a Marvin Harrison Super Bowl TD. I could see him showing up and demanding one at gunpoint.
Pick: Yes
Total pass receiving yards by Jeremy Shockey …
Over 28.5 (-135) / Under 28.5 (+105) … This game could go either way. But there is one thing we know: Jeremey Shockey is a massive douchebag. He will do everything in his power to finish the game with 69 yards.
Pick: Over
Team to make the most successful field goals in the game …
Saints (+110) / Colts (-140) … Garrett Hartley is a rookie. Matt Stover has been around longer and is the better kicker. So I'm taking him. Of course, saying a team will make the most successful field goals in a game doesn't say much for their chances of winning and is sort of a backhanded compliment. Like saying someone is a good kicker.
Will there be a safety in the game?
Yes (+800) / No (-1200) … BOOM! Easy pick. I'm putting a fortune on this one. Have to be specific, Vegas, or seasoned gamblers like me will bankrupt you! Just because the safeties in this game will likely have receivers running right past them time and time again, does not mean they aren't safeties.
Pick: Yes
The coin toss will be …
Heads (-115) / Tails (-115) … Peyton Manning, Drew Brees. In a game featuring massive foreheads, it's likely the game will open Heads, too.
How many times will CBS show Kim Kardashian during the game?
Over 2.5 (-135) / Under 2.5 (+105) … I'm going over, assuming this includes shots of the top of her head or her from behind.
How many times will CBS show Archie Manning during the game?
Over 4.5 (-210) / Under 4.5 (+170) … I'm going over, assuming this includes shots of the top of his head or him from behind. (Hey, a guy who was that bad in the NFL has to earn his constant praise from the media somehow.)
Oh, right. And the game itself …
My pick: Saints (and to win)

Last week vs. spread: 1-1

Last week just winners: 2-0
– – – – –
Season vs. spread: 138-122-4
Season just winners: 180-85
– – – – –
***Lukewarm Locks last week: 1-0

***Lukewarm Locks season: 19-18