Andrew Martin today placed the franchise tag on his girlfriend, Stephanie, after it became apparent the no-good slut was probably going to leave him for one of the other guys she was banging.
“The franchise tag is not the ideal situation,” said Martin. “I would have liked to have worked out a longer term agreement. But at least this way I have her locked up for the next year. She cheats, but she is amazing in bed. Probably because she has had a lot of practice, the whore.”
Due to receiving the franchise tag, Stephanie will receive all the attention and gifts afforded to the average girlfriend of her age (24), measurements (34-26-34), hair color (brown) and income ($47,500).
Stephanie Jacobs says she is okay with being franchised.
“I don’t know that I was going to leave him,” says Jacobs. “And I’m not a slut. I resent that accusation. I don’t cheat. I just flirt and keep my options open. I mean, I’m still young. And I don’t see a ring on this finger. But I’ll be a team player for the next year and see where that takes us.”
Another guy could still lure Stephanie away from Martin, but would have to surrender two sisters.
“She’s mine for the year,” says Martin. “I’m excited. But let me set the record straight – Stephanie is a no-good tramp. She calls what she does flirting? Is there usually penetration in flirting? No? Yeah, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell the skank.”
Andrew and Stephanie will try to resolve that difference and others in the coming franchise year.
“If I didn’t want her long-term, I wouldn’t have franchised her,” said Martin. “But over the next year, I’ll try to add some depth in case things don’t work out. There’s a cute barista at the coffee shop I think I could get. And there’s the new intern at work who is super hot. Maybe I bring them into the fold and let Stephanie hit the market after this year, who knows.”
No matter what happens in the future, Stephanie says she has made her mark with her boyfriend.
“I gave him herpes and genital warts,” she said.