Tebow Dazzles NFL Scouts with Picture of Aborted Fetus

Florida quarterback and 2007 Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow wowed scouts at the Senior Bowl in Mobile today when he showed off a picture of an aborted, third trimesterfetus.
Before engaging in seven-on-seven passing drills, Tebow took a moment to address scouts personally.
“I know that a lot of people have derided my footwork, and my throwing mechanics,” said Tebow, who holds every major SEC passing record, yet cannot throw a football without both his feet leaving the ground.“But, before you judge me as a football player, I’d like to show you this.”Tebow then unveiled a color photograph of a bloodyfetushe named “Julia”.
“Look at her,” said Tebow.“She has fingernails, fingers, toes.She can even cough, just like you and I.Now you look at this picture and tell me I can’t help a team in the NFL.”
Scouts were blown away by Tebow’s display.Said one anonymous scout for an AFC team, “I thought he threw the ball like a man with Bell’s Palsy, but then I realized what a good person he is.It really opened my eyes.We should totally draft him now.”
Other scouts agreed.“I had originally clocked Tebow at 5.1 in the 40.But then he talked about how his own mother refused to abort him, even though doctors warned her she might die from complications.What a fine example this young man sets for us all.I’m totally changing his 40 time to 4.6 now.That’s definite first round material, right there.”
Scouts also noticed that their opinions of Tebow’s footwork, which is sloppier than a Manwich, wildly improved the more Tebow discussed introducing death row inmates to the power of evangelical Christianty.“Usually, I watch Tebow play and all I can think, ‘Oh, God.He’s like Rick Mirer, only slower,’” said one NFC scout.“But this guy has such courage in his convictions.How can you not draft a guy like that?”
Scouts also watched as Tebow bench pressed 225 pounds six times.“Normally, for QB’s, that fairly average,” said the scout.“But when you think about all those starving kids in Malaysia he’s helped introduce to the power of his Lord and savior Jesus Christ, my goodness he certainly FELT stronger than all the other QBs out there.”
“I may not agree with his views,” said the scout, “But I respect the hell out of him.You talk about a leader.That’s why I’m going to totally shave an extra tenth of a second off his lousy shuttle run time.For Julia.”