Tom and Gisele return baby to hospital for one that doesn’t cry

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen returned their newborn baby to the Boston hospital it was born in today, demanding they be given one that doesn't cry all the time and want things. "I specifically requested one of those babies that looks good in pictures, like Tom Cruise's baby," a clearly perturbed Gisele was overheard telling an attendant at the front desk. "This baby is scrawny and has taken several bowel movements in its butt covererer. No way am I being seen out in public with it. I want a new baby or a full refund." The Patriots quarterback was equally displeased. "This baby doesn't match any of my jackets," he said. "I should have just bought a new ascot. Ascots don't scream and you don't feel bad about not feeding them." Brady and Bundchen left the facility minutes later with an Asian baby after Brady agreed to sign a few autographs.