Tiger Woods Linked to a Canadian

In what is perhaps the biggest bombshell yet in the Tiger Woods scandal, the golf superstar reportedly has had extensive dealings with a Canadian. The Canuck, a Dr. Anthony Galea, treated Woods after his knee surgery, claims the New York Times.
"If this is true, this could be the straw that breaks the camel's back," said PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem. "It's one thing to cheat on your wife and commit 'transgressions' and 'infidelities'. But palling around with a Canadian? It's just … it's disappointing, to say the least. I hoped he would be more careful with his associations."
Woods has been closely linked to people from other countries before — his caddie, Steve Williams is from New Zealand — but that was seen as endearing because people from New Zealand have cool accents and an equally cool name: Kiwis. His wife, Elin, is Swedish, a respected country for its hot, blonde women. And the golfer's own mother, Kutilda, is from Thailand, which means "land of delicious food."
But a Canadian? Reactions have been quick and harsh.
"In light of this recent report, we are immediately ending all ties with Tiger Woods," said Nike spokesman Roger Tyrell. "Canadians do not have cool accents, other than purposely mispronouncing a few words, their women are unremarkable and their food is really no different than what we have here. I don't know what Tiger was thinking."
Woods has quickly gone into damage control mode, releasing a statement on his official website denying any use of steroids or performance-enhancing drugs. But that has only dug his hole even deeper.
"Notice he didn't deny hanging out with Canadians," said Finchem. "The worst thing we feared has come true."