Man Playing Among Boys Plays Like Man Among Boys

Twenty points, 15 rebounds and 12 blocked shots — not a bad effort by one player in a pick-up basketball game that ended with a score of 25-14, even if it was by a 34-year-old man playing against a bunch of 10, 11 and 12-year-olds.
“Wooooo! I was feeling it today,” said Scott Patterson, a laid-off construction foreman. “Nothing like a nice pick-up game to work off some stress. Did you see me out there? I was dominating. It’s not everyday you play so well that your opponent starts crying, I don’t care who they are.”
While Patterson was happy with the game, his opponents were not.
“He broke my glasses,” said one.
“He wasn’t nice at all. And he smelled like a hoagie,” said another.
“When he missed shots, he would say I hacked his arm,” said another. “I couldn’t even reach above his waist.”
Even one of Patterson’s teammates in the 3-on-3 game at the neighborhood park says he was reduced to tears.
“He was hogging the ball and it was the ball my gramma got me for Christmas,” said 10-year old Jimmy Peters. “And he kept saying bad words when he would block their shots like: ‘Don’t bring that weak s-h-i-t in here! H-E-double-hockey-sticks, no!’ He is a mean man. I didn’t like him.”
While some might criticize a man for competing all out in a game against boys, Patterson will not apologize for his play.
“I just like to compete against anyone, anywhere and at anytime,” he said. “That’s why I came to the park and played those boys. I love sports, I love competition. And, also, I’m a pedophile.”