Key to Winning the Game is Wanting it More, Stresses Lazy Coach


Unable to think of an effective game plan for Kansas City’s upcoming game against the Bengals, Chiefs head coach Todd Haley decided to just tell his team today that the outcome of the game will come down to who wants it more.
“It’s that simple, men,” said Haley. “The team that goes out onto that field and gives it their all will win the game. The team that holds something back and doesn’t lay it on the line? They will lose. It's not complicated.”
Haley then walked out of the locker room and took a four-hour nap in his office. But his message worked.
“Coach knows what he’s talking about,” said quarterback Matt Cassel. “This is our fifteenth game of the season. There’s nothing new we can put into the game plan. No, this will be all about desire. What a great coach.”
“I think they bought it,” said Haley. “Which is outstanding. Because now I pretty much have the rest of the week off and I can finish my Christmas shopping.”
Haley said he briefly considered trying to come up with a unique approach to playing the first place Bengals, but quickly realized it would be too much work.
“I've tried that before this season and we've only gotten crushed,” he said. “Do you have any idea the time it would take to watch all their game film, just to find one or two ways we can tweak our approach or to discover where they might have a weakness? No, thank you. This is my first year on the job and I'm exhausted. A coach can only do so much. It’s on them now.”
Linebacker Tamba Hali says the team won't let Haley down.
“He is putting his faith in us,” said Hali. “So we have to dig even deeper, give 120-percent. It will be a battle of wills. Wooooo!”
Haley isn't worried.
“Hey, the pressure is off of me,” he said. “If we lose, I can just say that they didn’t execute the game plan. I’m golden either way.”


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