Gary Bettman plants rumor that Sidney Crosby has a harem

Jealous of the media coverage golf has received due to the Tiger Woods scandal, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman reportedly has called newsrooms through the United State to tell them that squeaky-clean Pittsburgh Penguins star Sidney Crosby has "a whole bunch of whores, way more than Tiger Woods. Some of them are underage, too. Oh! And a donkey! Yep. And … umm, well, I'll call you back when I think of more stuff." Reporters who bothered to even check into Bettman's story quickly were able to debunk it, as Crosby still lives at Mario Lemieux's home and is on a strict curfew. Bettman says his actions, while ineffective, show he is taking a more active approach to marketing his league. "We have a great game, but we fail to sell it well," he said. "That's on me. But those days are over. I am taking steps to change that. For example, I am thinking of hiring a marketing intern for the NHL. Unpaid. And she'll have to run everything by me first. But it's time we dip a toe into this whole selling fad."