Eye Black Bible Verses for Tim Tebow’s Five Stages of Grief

Tim Tebow lost. And his crying proved he took the defeat pretty hard.
Thankfully, the noted Biblical eye black enthusiast can work his way through the 5 Stages of Grief by sporting an appropriate verse on his face for each stage.
Glad to help, Tim!
Stage 1: Denial and Isolation
PHILIPPIANS 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I know you have this one already. You've worn it before. Now you can wear it again. The object of the sentence — "I" — reflects your feelings of isolation. And I think we can agree the thought that you "can do all things" is pretty fitting for denial in light of your performance in the SEC Championship Game, yes?
Stage 2: Anger
PSALM 137:9:Happy are those who seize your children and smash them against a rock.
OR
DEUTERONOMY 23:2: No one whose testicles have been crushed or whose penis has been cut off may be admitted into the community of the Lord.
They're both plenty angry. Like, terrifyingly angry. As you can see. But I'd probably go with Deuteronomy 23:2 in your case. You know, what with your history with the penises and the cutting.
Stage 3: Bargaining
DEUTERONOMY 3:23-25: At that time I pleaded with the Lord: "O Sovereign Lord, you have begun to show to your servant your greatness and your strong hand. For what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do the deeds and mighty works you do? Let me go over and see the good land beyond the Jordan — that fine hill country and Lebanon."
Great job attempting to kiss up with the "O Sovereign Lord" and "your greatness" and the "what god is there in heaven or on earth who can do the deeds and mighty works you do?" Well done. It won't work. You still lost. Decisively. But good try anyway. (Oh, and just a theological note: In Biblical times, I think "Jordan" was the SEC and "Lebanon" hosted the BCS title game. I think.)
Stage 4: Depression
JOHN 11:35: Jesus wept.
You weren't the only one crying at the end of that loss, Tim. Your No. 1 fan surely shed some tears, too.
Stage 5: Acceptance
JOB 29:2-3: How I long for the months gone by, for the days when God watched over me, when his lamp shone upon my head and by his light I walked through darkness!
OR
PSALM 34:18: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Apt. Both of them. But you should probably go with the second one. That one you can leave on your face for a while. You know, 'cause it will work for you at the NFL Draft, too.


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