Brian Kelly fired after "five-minute plan" fails to deliver results

Former Cincinnati head coach Brian Kelly was presented as the new head coach of Notre Dame at a press conference this afternoon and charted a bold path for the program, stating "we don't get five-year plans. This is a five-minute plan." Then, 15 minutes later following the end of the press conference, Kelly was let go by athletics director Jack Swarbrick for failing to show any progress. "I was disappointed in Brian," said Swarbrick. "I'm big enough to admit when I make a mistake. And hiring him was a mistake. At least Charlie Weis won a few games during his tenure. All Brian did was sit on his fat ass and answer questions. The entire time. Forget bowl wins, he never stood up. No way was I going to give him even another five minutes."