Alexander Ovechkin Drooling Over Sight of Large, Uninjured Knee

Washington Capitals star Alexander Ovechkin admitted today that he had trouble concentrating during his return to the ice from a two-game suspension due to the sight of so many large, healthy knees just begging to be taken out.
"I like the knees," said the Russian wing. "Especially the healthy ones, you know? I like to smash into them with my own knee. Make them buckle and break. It brings my great pleasure."
Ovechkin's suspension was due to his latest knee-to-knee hit on an opposing player, this one on Carolina defenseman Tim Gleason — a dirty style of play that his own coach, Bruce Boudreau, called "pretty reckless."
"My coach, he says many things," said Ovechkin. "He only want what best for me. I know this. Yet when he talk to me, I notice that he has two, big, fat knees that would be so fun to take out, yes? I only wish that he give me this advice while skating at me, so I could hit him full speed and really make him suffer. I must wait for this wonderful opportunity to come its way to me."
But the NHL, Boudreau and Ovechkin's Capitals teammates aren't only worried about knee injuries Ovechkin gives to opposing players. They also don't want the star to hurt himself in the process. But Ovechkin insists there is no risk.
"I like the knee-to-knee hit," he said. "I like it very much. It my greatest play. More than the goal score. And I hope one day I hurt my knee so I can get a huge brace placed on it. Then I will use knee with brace to inflict even more damage on knees. Use it like battering ram. Bone everywhere. It will be a great day."