Still-Humble Saints Refer To Selves As "Worst Team Ever"

The New Orleans Saints won again on Monday night, running their record to a league-best 7-0 and giving them a commanding lead in the AFC South. Despite that, the team remains determined to stay humble, saying they have a lot of room for improvement and even referring to themselves as the “worst team ever.”
“7-0 doesn’t mean anything if you don’t win the Super Bowl,” said quarterback Drew Brees after the game. “And we haven’t won the Super Bowl yet. We haven’t won anything yet. We barely even squeaked out this Monday night win against the Falcons. In fact, I will go so far as to say we are the worst team ever. If we win another game this season I will be shocked.”
Brees refused to acknowledge the stellar play of the offense, calling it “meaningless.”
“The offense? You want me to talk about the offense?” Brees asked one reporter. “Yea, we’ve scored a lot of points so far. Big deal. Defense wins championships. And when it comes to offense, the only number that matters is how many Super Bowl rings you have and right now that number is a big, fat zero. God, I’m so embarrassed. We should all be ashamed of ourselves.”
Coach Sean Payton acknowledges that 7-0 “is a pretty good place to be” but cautioned against overconfidence, saying that the Saints are just another deeply flawed team scratching and clawing for a playoff spot.
“7-0 is better than 0-7,” said Payton. “But this is a long season and you don’t win Super Bowls in November. You win them in February. Everything up until February is completely meaningless.”
Immediately following the victory over the Falcons, coach Payton told his team to enjoy the victory tonight, but be prepared for a hard week of practice and a tough opponent next Sunday in the Carolina Panthers.
“Pat yourselves on the back. You’re 7-0,” Payton said to a roomful of cheers. “But we haven’t done anything yet. We haven’t won a Super Bowl. We haven’t won the conference, division or wild card. We’re nothing. I spit on our accomplishments. See? I just spit all over this game ball, and you know who’s going to get it? Nobody, because you all suck. I’m going to give it to the retarded ball boy because he’s more worthy than you. And better at football, too.”
Payton then stormed out of the room, leaving his team in stunned silence.
“That was a bad one,” said receiver Devery Henderson. “Coach is really trying to keep us humble right now, trying to show us that we still have a lot of work to do. And of course he’s right. We still have a lot of work to do and – say it with me now – we haven’t accomplished anything yet. Yes, you’ve heard this one before, right? I don’t even know why you guys bother talking to all of us. You really just need to get one quote and then attribute it to everyone on the team.”


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