Report: Jimmy Clausen not punched in the face the other 364 days of the year

According to eyewitnesses in South Bend, Ind., Notre Dame starting quarterback Jimmy Clausen has only been punched in the face by a random passerby once in the past year. "Yeah, it blows my mind, too," said South Bend resident Rich McCaskell. "Why would people not punch that guy every day? And not just every day, several times a day? That guy is so punchable. In my mind, this is probably the biggest upset in sports history." Clausen says he knows why he hasn't been punched before. "It's because I f—kin' rock, brah!" he said. "Who would dare step to this," he added, before getting punched by a reporter.